The daily log of Emily Forner for Saturday, May 25, 2019

last

Run

: 7.00 Mile(s) : 00:00:00 : : NB 860s (lite blue) : 0.0

Daily Note

welp. seems outdoor nats has foiled me once again...incredibly disappointed by my performance today. Did a shakeout mile in the morning, then rolled and stretched throughout the afternoon. 2 up, 5k race, 1 sad sad mile down. Started out ok in the race - made my way into the top 8 early, and made good moves to stay there when people shuffled around. But around the mile I knew I was in trouble...just couldn't seem to get my legs to move faster and felt like I was running through jello. Pretty much my worst nightmare for this race. Had flashbacks to the same thing happening to me last year, and mentally gave up hope for finishing well. Wanted to drop, but just kept going despite how embarrassed and downright out of shape I felt. Not sure exactly how much of it was the heat, or my left leg bothering me, or just simply an off day mentally, but didn't have it in me today. It's tough to go into things with really high expectations, to have a target on your back for coming in with the fastest seed time, just to finish a full 2 minutes slower than that. It's days like today that used to crush me - the embarrassment of falling incredibly short of expectations, of feeling and looking out of shape (some brutal race photos circulating out there...), and of feeling like I let down the team and myself. But, I'm working on using the disappointment, frustration, and anger to spark motivation instead of defeat. This race sucked. But I don't suck because of this race. I'll be upset about it for a while, constantly wishing I could've run faster, stayed stronger, prepared better, but there's always more races. I'm sad to have finished my college career with a performance like this one, but running holds a special place in my heart that cannot be so easily broken. Here's to the end of an era, to the start of a new, to future successes, and to plenty more failures. Thanks for everything Allegheny.

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